new love grows on trees
harry potter | james/lily/sirius | NC-17 | +1400 w.
warning: double penetration (not sure if i have to warn for this or not)
summary: There's red hair between his fingers and he wonders how this happened, realizing he's the one twisting his hand in Lily's hair and caressing her nape with his thumb.
this is like, the smuttiest thing i've written. these three crazy kids, bless them.
new love grows on trees
He lies between them, quiet as a wall keeping them together rather than apart, quiet as a dam or a natural disaster. James and him. It had always been James and Sirius since he remembers, since time itself began, really, until the tip of his tongue became so used to both sounds spoken at the same time that Sirius began to mistake one for the other, began to say “James” when what he really meant was “me”.
And now this. There's red hair between his fingers and he wonders how this happened, realizing he's the one twisting his hand in Lily's hair and caressing her nape with his thumb. She moves, dream-like, quick and slow at the same time, catching nightlight in each movement, turns her head to him and says, Sirius.
Sirius.
That's you. He remembers now, tongue untangled by the taste of Lily's mouth.
*
He watches James' tongue reach up, dart in and dip out as Lily buries her knees in the pillow and grabs the headboard of the bed with one, fingers going whiter and whiter every time James arches his back on the bed and his tongue goes deeper and deeper into her cunt. Sirius watches with a particular jealousy, not possessive but nostalgic. He watches Lily's cheeks go red, incandescent when she throws her head back and lets out the first real moan and says James. Sirius mouths that name as well, as if he could feel just what Lily is feeling now, his heart suddenly painfully big for his ribcage, stretched, engrossed – like he was carrying Lily's heart as well, heavy and wet and fragile.
He sits on James' lap, copying Lily when James put his head under her body. They are facing each other, Lily and Sirius, with James underneath them and between them and Sirius wants more of that, wants that connection. James is hard and slides easily into Sirius, jerking his hips awkwardly, too caught up in kissing Lily's thighs, teasing whimpers out of her with his slowness. Sirius places one hand on his chest to still him, his fingers brushing over his stomach and James understands – he doesn't move and lets Sirius roll his hips, using his weight until James is completely inside him.
Then he looks at Lily. They are face to face. They exchange a glance but it's not about defiance. They stare at each other as if they both needed a witness. Her stare is unbearable. Sirius is grateful for that.
Hair falls in her hair when James' tongue laps and plunges, hungry and patient tongue, and Lily has to stiffen a yelp – she clenches around James and his mouth and Sirius can feel it too, through the murmur in James' body, like an echo and he clenches as well, making James curse and groan into Lily's cunt.
Sirius leans forward – the angle makes James catch his breath for a moment, his hands grabbing at Lily's knees and thighs – and brushes the hair off Lily's face with restrained, difficult gentleness. She lets go off the headboard and falls forward, forehead clashing against Sirius' shoulder.
It makes Sirius stop, her lips across his collarbone and then, when Lily kisses him, his body goes limp. James does it for him, he shifts his hips in a long, gentle thrust as Lily's tongue is still inside his mouth. This is new, Sirius thinks. He's been fucked by James before, but not like this. Lily has kissed him before, but not like this. (Lily's mouth feels nothing like James' but both have the same taste of sunlight and home that Sirius yearns for, that he can't give up)
Lily grabs Sirius' cock, squeezing hard for a moment until Sirius cries out some swearing words he's sure he's just made up now; his fingers dig at James' stomach, leaving a trail of bright-red bruises. His hand then moves up, along James' body, palming and caressing every inch of skin. James is picking up the pace and his thrusts build a rhythm that Lily matches in long, rough strokes along Sirius' cock. Sirius falls forward (because he an Lily, he's learned, are mirror imagines, like twins separated at birth and that's why things have been how they've been between them), happy to let his mouth wander on the hollow of her neck, between his breasts. His hand closes around James' throat briefly, possessive, feeling in the tug and pull of his muscles the way James' tongue moves inside Lily, the way he gets drunk on her. But that he can feel it too, Sirius can, in the way James moves underneath him, inside him, generous, like it doesn't matter, his tongue or his cock, like it doesn't matter, Lily or Sirius.
With her free hand Lily runs her fingers through his hair, whispering in Sirius' ear, nonsense words, strange languages Sirius thinks he can decipher. She says “yes” and “come on” and he calls his name but Sirius doesn't know which one, Sirius or James or both, her tongue used already to the place where one is the other. Sirius pushes two fingers inside her, resting his knuckles on James' chin, the touch of his lower lip against his fingers, sharing the same warmth inside Lily, feels exhilarating to Sirius, it makes him close his eyes a bit until the world is narrower but brighter, a tiny speck of light of a world but enough for the three of them.
Lily comes almost as soon as Sirius touches her and that has to mean something, Sirius thinks, hysterically, it has to mean something, he repeats like a curse or a fever, Lily's fingers never letting go off him either.
*
This time, as they sit at the edge of the bed, James kissing and biting at the back of her neck, and Lily moving above him, safe in James' grasp (his hands on her hips anchoring her, lifting her weight and letting it fall back on him, Lily knowing he'll never let her really fall down), Lily stares at Sirius through it all.
He doesn't touch her (or James) for a long time. He stands there watching and Lily returns the glare as James fucks her, as James grunts behind her. Lily stares at him like she is challenging him but when Sirius walks across from the other side of the room and touches her – two tentative, almost-innocent fingers pressed against her shoulder – he discovers it was not a challenge at all: Lily shudders, closes her eyes a bit, looking away, her mouth half-open. Sirius leans in and kisses her, and before he lets himself know what he wants (Lily's arms around his neck, already pulling him in like undertow, James looking over her shoulder, flushed with a desire Sirius can't tell if it's for him or Lily or both) Sirius rubs the tip of his cock along Lily's cunt, along the length of James that's not buried inside her.
`Fuck, Sirius,´ James growls, animal-like, the first to break the silence.
`I-´ he stutters, like an apology.
`Come here,´ James says, freeing one of his hands from Lily (it's okay, he knows and she knows Sirius will never let her fall either) and grabbing Sirius', locking their finger together in a gesture so simple and perfect that Sirius wonders how he does it, he feels tears at the back of his throat.
Lily holds him closer, so tight it hurts, and when he enters her - fucking Merlin's balls, Black, you crazy bastard James is mutter against her hair and Sirius thinks he hears a smile in his voice – Sirius holds her, she trembles. The feeling of being inside her (with James, the three of them until the tongue forgets to separate them and it's always James, Sirius, Lily, James, Sirius, Lily) paralyzes him.
`Lily,´ he mutters, and it's the first time. He kisses her – her mouth, her cheeks, her eyelids.
Sunlight and home.
*
He sleeps between them tonight. The red in his hand from Lily's hair feels familiar, even if that's silly, inside. James breathes against the back of his neck, with familiar, loud noises that Sirius finds comforting. Hands and fingers and legs, limbs in disarray on the bed, locked with each other, touching, brushing. Sirius can tell whose arm is this, whose foot is that.
But he doesn't want to.